And Saturn ended its slow spin

Its rings they whizzed like my mind

Something choked its turn

Something hollow, unkind

The drums, they were beating

Softly against the earth

Like my heart beats

Slower, faster, alternating from birth

Sickeningly sweet, this sudden sunshine

Blinding me and everyone around

Speaking its loud words as though

There cannot be any other sound

Sparks of love, they burst from me

But sparks of hate, they soar and fly

They reach the curve of Saturn

As I watch the rings spin in my mind’s eye

When that world up there can be so plain

From this distance of light

Why can’t I go closer and explain

What it should be, and what it instead might.

There are voices floating above the clouds

I’ve heard them in my waking dreams

There are colours that mix and swirl

I’ve seen them but to touch them I never seem.

I can say these things to everyone

But they still won’t know me well

They will never know the truth

The gorge that inside swells.

It might be easy to circumvent

This path of dark loneliness

But that world up there, it gives me peace

When it promises its yellow bliss.

Speak of what is, speak of what is not

But don’t tell me what you really think

Because I’ll steal it away from you

I’ll make it wreak, I’ll push you to the brink.

I’ll push you so far, you’ll balance on those rings

Those spinning circles of firedust

I’ll dangle you from the edge

Until  you break the murderous lust.

It might consume you, it might eat me up

It will fill you like ants in a corpse

Its dread is its eternal poison

Because it rises from floods, and leaves only drops.